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I was on this positive thinking kick mixed in with some “it is what it is” being present bull-shit. It was a self-improvement project that failed miserably. I looked at the upside to everything. I did the whole “what is wrong with me at this exact moment?” I Power of Nowed my way through the summer. Things surprisingly did get better for a short period of time, yet as always a cosmic wrench was thrown in my plans for happiness and world domination. |
One thing after another has been piling up. I feel like a child’s beat-up old teddy bear. My stuffing is coming out, I’m missing an eye, and the family pet chewed off one of my ears. The kid’s grandmother happens to be a crack-head who can’t sew the shit back on. Or maybe it’s like that story about the teddy bear that comes to life in the department store. The night watchman finds me and instead of saying, “How did this get here?” and putting me back on the shelf with my bear crew, he happens to be into the Plushies and Furries thing.
During my optimism spell I tried to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But situations can always get worse and sometimes you just have to feel sorry for yourself. I’ve come to see that this get over things, don’t dwell on them, move on, think positive shit that’s crammed down our throats is just straight-up denial. The shitty day I had isn’t a funny story, or a test to my character, it just sucked. On some occasions, the only way to feel better is to drive 90 mph down the highway screaming as loud as you can. Or come home after work, eat a box of chocolates, drink a bottle of wine, while crying and watching Dirty Dancing. Eckhart Tolle isn’t happy because he’s so freakin’ Zen. He’s happy because he sold a trillion books.
- Colleen -
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