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The Old Switcheroo  By Colleen, Hipsterpad.com    |Email|   Once again…this is based on a true story. Early one crisp, autumn morning our protagonist (we’ll call him JG) maneuvered his black Lincoln into a parking spot at the local convenience store. With Bruce Springsteen tunes running through his head he grabbed his daily New York Times and a cup of coffee, paid and exited with the intention of getting to the office at a reasonable hour. As he approached the Lincoln, a heavily accented voice pierced the air, “Scusi, Scusi!” Being the Good Samaritan as always, JG approached the dark haired, Italian stranger. “Oh thank you, thank you sir. Do you know how to get to Route 130?” the stranger asked. JG gave him detailed directions and then struck up a conversation. “What brings you here?” he asked. The stranger replied, “A fashion exhibition. I’m a designer affiliated with Armani.” The European whipped out his card and handed it to JG. Lo and behold at the bottom of the jumbled mess of the card was the word “Armani.” After a bit of small talk the man eyed JG up and decided to go in for the kill. “You see I have three leather jackets and a suit. If I bring them on the plane I have to pay tax on them. Would you like to buy them off of me?” The man produced a fashionable, high quality suit and three leather jackets. JG thought to himself, “Armani. I think that’s a good designer.” “How much for the whole kit and caboodle?” “$2,000,” the man replied. “No way,” said JG. They bartered and bartered until they agreed upon the sum of $500. JG reached for his wallet and realized that he didn’t have any cash on him. “I have to go to the bank to get the money,” he told the Italian man. “Well, I come with you,” he said. JG sized him up and decided that the man was not a threat. With that, the pair jumped into the Lincoln and headed for the bank. Once inside at the ATM machine, JG realized that he had forgotten his glasses. The numbers on the keypad blurred together making it impossible to type the correct pin number in. The Italian man was getting antsy and finally had to help JG withdrawal the $500. Once the shady dealing was over the two men returned to the convenience store to get the goods. The Italian man fumbled around in his trunk for a time and then handed Joe the garments. They departed amicably with the man driving off in the morning sunrise towards the airport. JG smiled to himself and felt a feeling of triumph at having received such a sweet deal. Once at the office, JG grabbed his newly acquired possessions and looked at them lovingly. $500 for an Armani suit and three genuine leather jackets was the deal to end all deals. He slowly unzipped the garment bag containing the suit. He would look sharp in the new threads....oh so sharp. As the fluorescent lights of the office hit the suit JG gasped. That Italian had pulled the old switcheroo! Instead of the beautifully tailored Armani suit, a cheap, polyester one stood in its place. “Damn!” JG cursed to the high heavens. He returned home that evening and attempted to find redemption by pawning the gear off on his children. He smiled magnanimously, feigning satisfaction with his purchases as he handed his son a black leather jacket. A brown, small, ill-fitting number would be perfect for one of his daughters he decided. Yet, none of them would take the bait. He was left with a polyester suit and a jacket seemingly made for a stocky elf. With a heavy heart JG had to admit defeat. He was a mere pawn in the Italian shyster’s game. Meanwhile, several miles away in Ewing, NJ, the Italian man giggled and counted his $500. For, he had been playing this game for quite some time. A $30 suit and leather jackets made from rat skins. “How the Americans love their bargains,” he thought rubbing his hands together greedily. He put the cash under his mattress and emptied his rat traps. He took his pile of rat hides and sewed throughout the night. His eyes gleamed with excitement, because each day held the promise of a new victim. - Colleen - Rate This Post ! Sponsor This Post Currently 3.67/5 1 2 3 4 5 Rating: 3.7/5 (42 votes cast) Comments No comments yet *Name: Email: Notify me about new comments on this page Hide my email *Text:

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