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Moving Freely Between The Tribes: A Hipster Road Guide  By Steve, Hipsterpad.com    |Email| You walk into a bar. You didn't see the side parking lot on the way in, because you got a killer spot right up front next to some beat to shit work truck(and it blocked your view from your corolla), and somehow, the 45 harleys escaped your eyeline. Were it not on the jukebox, the Outlaws "Green Grass and High Clouds" would've skipped. A seismic blast of unspoken 'you ain't from around here, is ya's' slams into your gut like a thai boxer's kneecap as you swagger undaunted towards the nearest barstool you can find. Some of you may run out of confidence at this point, 's ok, I'm here to help. As a tribal ambassador, my job is to travel throughout the cities, states, and countries selling not war, not clandestine information, not even an occasional dub, but negotiating the eventual understanding that you can relate to anyone on some level, have mind-blowing conversation with anyone(not everything that blows your mind is good), and glean an ability to be comfortable anywhere, with anyone, under every circumstance. Any advice from this point on will be based on the following statement: Read Damnit! If I'm preaching to the choir on this, good. However, the masses out there would all be much better off if they traded in Ann Coulter for Anna Karina, Chicken Soup For The Soul for Chuck Palahnuik, and jumped headlong if not into a foreign culture, at least the ones that exist in the country, let alone the state, that they live in. Don't get me wrong, I love locals. No matter where I go, that's kinda the point (especially the locals that had the good common sense to get the hell outta there for a while, then came back), and as a tribal ambassador I tend to achieve local status rather quickly. This is solely due to the fact that I can hold a dialogue with anyone, seriously, pick something, go ahead, anything. Chances are, given the surroundings, it'll come down to a handful of basic things anyway. Art (which in some circles includes the ability to pour a fucking cup of coffee), transportation, bitchez n' shit, why Britney needs to be beaten with a poisonous blowfish in public by two rabbis and the entire cast of Dogma, sports, partisan politics (devil's advocate doesn't pay well, but the benefits rock), and why some guy's ol' lady ditched out on 'im last week. Ease in every situation is what separates the hipster from the merely hip, and never compromising your intellect, integrity, or ideals are the characteristics every tribal ambassador should strive to possess. Raise your glass at the club and quote Churchill, it's fun, I promise. Finish an argument at a biker bar incorporating your belief in the hydro-fuel cell powered vehicle. Smile, dare the world to figure out if you're kidding, and since you're not, the confidence and charisma seeping from every pore will start to collect in pools on the floor and rise up like the funk at a liquid soul show-trapping the rest of the patrons in a brief glimpse of the world through the eyes of a hipster. - Steve - Rate This Post ! Sponsor This Post Currently 3.96/5 1 2 3 4 5 Rating: 4.0/5 (27 votes cast) Comments Colleen Well-written. The secret is reading books besides "The Giver" or other miscellaneous assigned reading materials from 7th to 8th grade. *Name: Email: Notify me about new comments on this page Hide my email *Text:

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