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I Love The Smell Of Dew In The Morning
By Mike, Guest Writer |Email| |
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It started off as just another beautiful day in sunny San Diego. Slightly over cast, the sun beginning to peek thru the clouds, a perfect 72 degrees. I wake up and decide to do some yard work that I had been putting off for a couple weeks. The house where I lived at the time was a quaint cottage style home with a small yard and I figured it wouldn't take very long to give the yard the trim it so patiently awaited. So I woke a bit early to get started. Now the grass area was only about 12x20 so I didn't have to use a lawn mower, I just used the weed whacker. |
I get started on this exquisite morning and things are going pretty good. Ahhh… I love the smell of freshly cut grass and morning dew. It reminds me of being a kid again and how I loved the days my grandfather would mow the lawn and I would just roll around in the grass right after he was done. As I grew older my allergies began to be effected by fresh cut grass and so it wasn’t so pleasurable anymore. Normally my allergies would be in high alert by now, but the morning was warm and fresh and seemed to be on my side.
My pant legs and shoes were a bit damp since there was still quite a bit of dew left on the grass. As I was cutting I felt some wetness splash across my forehead and face. Thinking nothing of it, I merely just wiped my face across my shirt at the shoulder. Then it hit me, something was rotten in Denmark. An aroma much like that of a dirty diaper left in stagnant water began to burn my nose and test my gag reflex. As I wiped my hand across my face in hopes to somehow "wipe" away that awful smell, I caught a glimpse of the "chocolaty" substance on my shirt and now on my hand.
For you see, the wetness which I felt across my face was not the fresh morning dew but some wet soft doggie poop. I immediately ran inside and began to shower as if I had just been dipped in a port-o-potty at a biker rally in Sturgis. I may have wept in the corner of the shower in the fetal position for a bit, actually I’m sure I did. After I was able to emerge from my shower and gather my stinky clothes and get them in the wash, I braved the backyard once again to finish what I had started.
As I gathered up all the cut grass and put it in the trash bags I began to wonder. What were the odds that I would hit that soft pile of K9 excrement at the right time, at the right angle in order for it to be sprayed across my face? What are those odds, 100 to 1, 1000 to 1, who knows? The odds of me stepping in it should have been better. I also realized that was the only land mine that I had not picked up. So the moral of the story… well the first anyways, is always make sure all the dog poop is picked up before you mow your lawn. Second, if you're having a shitty day, just be glad the shit isn't smeared across you face...
- Mike -
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